Try This at Home
Be polite. In a world full of suffering, injustice, violence, despair, and need, this suggestion may sound trivial, but it’s actually an important way to show respect, courtesy, and consideration for others.
It’s one of my Secrets of Adulthood: If we can’t be loving, we can be kind; if we can’t be kind, we can be courteous; if we can’t be courteous, we can be quiet.
Happiness Hack
Have you figured out a way to deal with the super-bright “on” lights that so many devices have? Send in your hacks!
Know Yourself Better
When you do something right, what type of gold star do you appreciate most?
I mention the Happier app and the Don’t Break the Chain Habit Tracker.
Listener Question
A listener asks, “Gretchen, is there a reason you use the term “aims” instead of “goals?” Yes, there is!
I mention Better Than Before, my book about habit-formation, as well as the Strategy of First Steps. If you’d like to read more, here’s an article I wrote about the risks of reaching a goal.
Demerits & Gold Stars
Elizabeth’s Demerit: She and her family haven’t been doing their posture exercises.
Gretchen’s Gold Star: I give a gold star to trash collectors, who do so much for the health and comfort of cities.
Resource
People often ask me, “Where should I start? What’s the best new habit to help me become happier?” Now I have a quiz to give people the answer! Take the “Habits for Happiness” quiz and let me know if your result rings true for you.
What We’re Reading
*This transcript is unedited*
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[Music]
Gretchen
Hello and welcome to a happier a podcast where we talk about how to be happier. This week we’ll talk about why it’s worthwhile, at the very least to be polite and we’ll explore the different types of gold stars that give people a feeling of recognition and reward.
Gretchen
I’m Gretchen Rubin, a writer who studies happiness, Good habits, The Five Senses Human Nature. I’m in my little home office in New York City. And joining me today from L.A. is my sister, Elizabeth Craft. And Elizabeth, you and I are in the same category, I believe, when it comes to what type of gold stars we crave.
Elizabeth
That’s me, Elizabeth Craft, a TV writer and producer living in L.A.. And yes, I think we are the words of affirmation. Gold Star.
Gretchen
yeah. We will get into that.
Elizabeth
Too, here.
Gretchen
But first, an update.
Elizabeth
Yes, This comes from Erica. She says In episode 464, I heard Liz say she or her parents got her son Jack and investing app. I have a teen and tween and I’ve been looking for an investing app for them. Would you please share the name? So either Greenlight or Robinhood, those are the two rich that I know about.
Elizabeth
We got Jack Greenlight, which is also sort of a debit card. And then Robinhood, I know, is an easy way to invest.
Gretchen
Okay, that’s good. That’s helpful.
Elizabeth
And then Michelle said every year, I love hearing what Liz and Gretchen choose for their one word theme. My chosen word this year is habit, and I’ve come up with a way to keep this word present in front of mind throughout the year. I went to my local library website and did a search for books about habits are reserved 12 habits in books that interested me.
Elizabeth
Then I assigned each a date to be released on the 15th of every month in 2024. This way I’ll have a steady stream of books to read related to my one word theme throughout the year to keep myself focused on what I chose as my intention. This can be done with nearly any one word theme. I hope others are able to use this tip.
Elizabeth
Well, that’s a different idea.
Gretchen
I thought this is a brilliant idea. One is it’s using the library, which we love. Use the library. We love libraries. Also, it is a way to keep yourself learning and engaged and keep your idea top of mind. Because for you and me, it’s always like, how do you just keep it in your mind that this is what you’re aiming for, but also in better than before?
Gretchen
I write about the 21 strategies of habit change, and one of the strategies is the strategy of other people. And this is the idea that we pick up habits from other people for good or for ill. And so putting yourself in the company of people who have the habit that you want. Research shows, is very beneficial. So and this can happen even sort of in your imagination.
Gretchen
So if you want to run more, you might read Runner’s World because then in your imagination, when you’re hanging out and talking to people and exchanging ideas with people who have the same values, or like you could listen to a yoga podcast where people are talking about yoga because and then of course, you can just actually be with those people, which would be even better.
Gretchen
But another way to do this is to read books about it, because again, you’re putting yourself in the company of people who are thinking about what you’re interested in there. There’s ideas, it’ll spark new possibilities. And and so I think that this way of doing it consistently through the year, I mean, I didn’t even know you could assign dates to be released like that’s very next level either.
Elizabeth
Right. Yes. That’s good to know.
Gretchen
I don’t know if you do that through the library or if she did it on her own calendar. Anyway, it’s it’s ingenious. Yeah, but anyway, I thought that this was something that is very simple. It’s something I’d never heard about. And I think it could be extremely effective with a lot of different kinds of aims.
Elizabeth
Yes. So thank you, Michelle, for that idea.
Gretchen
Excellent. So this week are try this at home. Tip is to be polite.
Elizabeth
Now grab this sounds obvious. We were told forever to be polite, but it is so important.
Gretchen
Okay, so here’s the thing. I think that if you hear okay to try this at home is to be polite. That sounds so trivial. It sounds frivolous in a world full of suffering and injustice and violence and despair and need. It sounds frivolous, but this is why I wanted to talk about this. Try this at home. I had a dream the other night that just shook me.
Gretchen
You know, sometimes you have a dream that is just like, shakes you. And in my dream, it was something like I was on a bench or I was seated somewhere. I wasn’t on the subway, but it was something like that. And somebody said something to me and I just snapped back. I just I gave a very, like, escalating answer.
Gretchen
You know, I wasn’t I wasn’t cursing at them or something, but I just answered in a very, very impolite, angry way. And this person escalated back and then I escalated. And then this thing just got huge. And it was scary. And it was just it. And I remember in my dream thinking, my gosh, why didn’t I just give a gentle answer like, I am at the root of this?
Gretchen
Because this person said one thing to me and like it all just rows and rows and rows and got out of control. And I and I woke up and I was like, my gosh, I need to recommit to just just being polite. If I had just been polite, if I had given a polite answer, and in my dream, it was a dream about regret more than it was a dream about the actual interaction, though obviously that’s why I had all the regret and the guilt and the and the bad feeling.
Gretchen
But whoa, I can’t stop thinking about it.
Elizabeth
Yeah. And I have to say regrets. There are times in my life when I have not been polite and I always regret. Yes. Speaking of regret. And I’m never sorry that I was polite, but something Adam is great about being really alive.
Gretchen
Notice that about Adam.
Elizabeth
And I appreciate that in him. I will say I had an experience the other day where I had to cancel an order because I was sick and I still had to pay for half of the order, which, of course is annoying. Yeah. And but I was like, I’m going to be polite about this. This is their policy. It’s not their fault that I’m sick, etc..
Elizabeth
And then I put the order through. I was this is like a food order. Yeah. And the woman said, I felt so bad. You’re sick. I’m going to put in some extra treats for you and this order.
Gretchen
Wow.
Elizabeth
So had I not been polite, yeah, I’m sure she would not have been so nice back. Okay, so I was like, I was nice. And so she’s nice.
Gretchen
Well, okay, so there’s so much to say here. And this is one of the things and again, research shows this is that we contribute to the environment that we are in. Like we are not wholly responsible for it, of course, but sometimes if one person can be polite, it helps others to be polite. If I give a mild answer, it helps others to give a mild answer.
Gretchen
I mean, you see this in your own family and you see this with strangers is that when one person gets angry and defensive, somebody it just it’s very, very hard not to. And again, I don’t I don’t want to minimize when people are like in terrible situations or when it’s really, really unfair, but just just kind of in the ordinary friction of life.
Gretchen
Now, here’s another example. I think this is why it might have been in my mind to give you the dream is, okay, you know, I was on jury duty. Yes. And one of the things that struck me about this jury duty was the atmosphere in the courtroom and and just in the whole process of it. Now, I want to say I was in the southern district of New York.
Gretchen
This was this is the best it gets. Right. And again, I want to say justice is something that we strive for and we never really achieve. And there’s so many times when it doesn’t work. But I’m like, this is the system I am right now participating in the system when it is working the way that we would all hope and dream and strive that it would.
Gretchen
And what was so amazing was the deep respect and courtesy. We as jurors were treated with just such courtesy, and they treated each others with courtesy. They referred to each others by their last name. So it was like jurors. Will you please follow Mr. Cortez? He will show you where to be seated. And then when the judge came in, we all stood up.
Gretchen
The defendant who was there was treated with very great deference. The lawyers, everybody was speaking to each other calmly. And then it created this atmosphere like all these nobody wants to be there. Nobody wants to be on a jury. Then it was a whole thing about where are we going to get put on a grand jury. So people were getting very anxious about that, though in the end, a lot of people were like, I would kind of like to do this.
Gretchen
Anyway, that’s a whole other story. But part of why I think that it was a really positive experience overall was that there was just this this courtesy. And again, you know, it’s kind of a formal situation. And I thought what I really I’m feeling like I just like this sheer politeness is with these strangers. And again, I had been thinking about this and my dream and then I had to get something notarized.
Gretchen
And so I made an appointment online to go to this notary, and they sent me to confirmation emails badgering me not to miss this appointment. I go to get the appointment and the guy’s like, the the guy’s sick today. You can’t do it. And I said to him in a very angry man, like, Well, the thing is, you’ve been hounding me all day to come to the appointment.
Gretchen
Like, why didn’t you do something? And he said to me in a very gentle way. He’s like, I know that’s really frustrating, but, you know, we’re just like the local franchise and all that happens with the central office and we don’t have any control over it. And then I immediately calm down because that’s another thing about being polite.
Gretchen
I will often, truth be told, get very annoyed with people when in like sort of argue with them about things that obviously they have no control over. It’s like, all right, why are you arguing with the checkout person? They have no control over how this system is set up. Yeah. And so just be polite.
Elizabeth
Well, it it keeps you calm. I mean, and that is the thing. When I am polite and I don’t get that angry, frustrated feeling. Yes. In the moment. So I both don’t feel it in the moment. And then also don’t regret later having been rude.
Gretchen
Well, a thousand.
Elizabeth
Percent, it pays off dividends.
Gretchen
Well, and this is so important because what research shows is that we often think that we act because of the way we feel. So I’m acting angry because I’m feeling angry. But in fact, what research shows is that we often feel because of the way we act. And so when I’m acting angry and impolite, it’s inflaming those feelings in me.
Gretchen
And so if I can say, take a beat, be polite, give a respectful answer, treat others with courtesy, that’s going to help me feel more courteous, more polite. It’s funny. I see this at the Met, so I’m at the Met all the time and people feel like they, you know, they do think they get too close to the art.
Gretchen
Their children start to put their hands all over some like Egyptian mausoleum. I was in the garden court and somebody threw his coat over one of the stones and the guy was like, That’s actually part of the exhibit. You can’t put your coat there. I was like, That’s kind of ambiguous. Is it a rock there or is it part of the exhibit?
Gretchen
Anyway? So some of the guards, like they’re all respectful, but some of them are very kind of sympathetic, kind of like, I know you want to get so close to the art, but you know, really, we would prefer that you backup. And then some are coming on in a kind of scolding way. And I’ve never seen somebody openly argue with the guard.
Gretchen
But you can see that the way that the guard expresses his or her admonition colors the experience for the visitor. And it’s interesting to see that. And maybe as an upholder, I never want to get scolded. So like a couple of times I’ve gotten too close to something and it’s like, ooh, I get so, you know, anxious. So again, I don’t want to I don’t want to minimize times where it’s not right to be polite, but I just want to tell myself, amp it up.
Elizabeth
Well, and Gretchen, I will say, I mean, beyond even being polite, I have made more of an effort lately just to be friendly. yeah. It goes beyond. yeah, you know, that were about actually saying something. Yes and yes, largely again, because Adam is that way is strangers. It it works. It really does improve your day.
Gretchen
Yeah. Well, one of my secrets of adulthood very up for this is if we can’t because we should be loving. If we can’t be loving, we can be kind. If we can’t be kind, we can be courteous. If we can’t be courteous, we can be quiet.
Elizabeth
Very true.
Gretchen
Yeah. So let us know if you do try this at home and how being polite works for you, how you think about it. I feel like it’s very tied into my alternative theme of neighbor was that, you know, I’m so focused on ideas of being a neighbor. I’m like a good neighbor.
Elizabeth
Yeah.
Gretchen
Is polite and kind and friendly. Let us know on Instagram threads Tik-tok Facebook Drop us an email at podcast. Gretchen Rubicam Or as always, you can go to the show notes. You can go to have your cars.com slash four, six, eight for everything related to this episode.
Elizabeth
Coming up, we have a request for a happiness hack. But first, this break.
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Elizabeth
Okay, Gretch, we’re back with this week’s Happiness Hack. And this time we are asking people for their hacks.
Gretchen
Yes, I would like a hack for this is it seems like now there are a lot of devices that have really bright on lights where they just shine out like a beacon. And yeah, I mean, I am incredibly nearsighted. I’m like, if I can see that thing, it must be so bright because everything buzzes out for me. I have to keep a t shirt draped over iPhone.
Gretchen
We have to keep stuff propped against a cable box. It just seems like there’s probably a more elegant way to deal with these super bright lights. Do you know what I’m talking about?
Elizabeth
I do. Yes, They can keep you awake. It’s very annoying. Yeah. He’s like, Well.
Gretchen
And studies suggest that that kind of light can make your sleep less deep and satisfying. And so it actually matters. But it’s certainly annoying whether or not it affects the quality of our sleep.
Elizabeth
Yes, Our thermostat is like that.
Gretchen
Yes. Sometimes smoke alarms are like that. If they’re placed in a so that you can’t not see them. So I imagine that people have come up with very imaginative and clever ways to deal with this. So let us know.
Elizabeth
Yes.
Gretchen
And now for a know yourself better question. Okay. I love this question because, Elizabeth, we talk about gold stars every week.
Elizabeth
Yes, we.
Gretchen
Do. We love gold stars. So this question is, when you do something right, what type of gold star do you appreciate most? Because like everything, we’re all different from each other and different types of rewards and recognition work for different people. And this matters. It’s a useful know yourself better question because feelings of recognition and accomplishment help us to continue to strive.
Gretchen
It’s gratifying to reflect on the progress we’ve made. It’s gratifying when others recognize our efforts, you know? So how do we give those feelings to ourselves and how do we get them from others? It’s important.
Elizabeth
Yeah. And like so many of our know yourself better questions grants, this is just as or maybe even more important to know about the people in your life. Yeah. Like your coworkers, your spouse, your kids, family members. Yeah.
Gretchen
It’s very easy to focus on the to do list and what needs to be done. Either what we need to do or what we want other people to do. But if we take the time to revel in the ta da, we keep the energy to persist. But you have to think about what is what is it to look like for you.
Gretchen
Okay, so let’s let’s go first. You and me.
Elizabeth
Yes. So we are the praise seeker. Yes. Right. And if you’ve read the five love languages, which many people have, they talk about words of affirmation, which is both of our love language as well. So these are the people like us who want to hear praise aloud.
Gretchen
Yes, we want we want the praise. And of course, these all kind of blend into each other. But the another one is the certificate accumulator. These are people who really like some kind of recognition of mastery. So they might like to get a a certificate or they get published or they get a job title. So they really want that certificate.
Elizabeth
And then there’s trophy hunters, people who want actual gold stars like a physical trophy, a scout badge, a medal in finance. Gretchen you said people get financial, tombstone or deal talk.
Gretchen
Yes. So when you do a big deal, you everybody gets what’s called a deal toy or a tombstone and it’s a it’s a kind of trophy. You put it on your bookshelf and it’s it is a trophy. Here’s one I think is a chain builder. These are the people who get tremendous satisfaction from seeing the chain get longer and longer as they don’t break the chain.
Gretchen
And recently in the Wall Street Journal, I saw a story about how word all because people get so invested in their chain, they can get extremely distressed if they break their chain for word. Well, and I think for many people, there’s all different kinds of chains. And that’s why you have the don’t break the chain tracker, because for some people they just immense satisfaction off of that daily check.
Elizabeth
Absolutely. I’m a word person. Gotcha. I relate to that. Yeah. And then the keepsake collector. And these are the people who are if they try five new restaurants, they want to keep a matchbook from every restaurant or a playbill from every play they go to. They want to that little the keepsake, the keepsake.
Gretchen
There’s the like gatherer. So these are people who are seeking engagement on social media. So they want to get that kind of Gold Star party planners.
Elizabeth
Those are the people that want to have a party to celebrate.
Gretchen
Yeah, they want a social event to do it. The pat on the back or these are people who really like to like physically pat them on the back. Like we use this metaphorically, but for some people, like they really want that handshake and then that fist bump, you know, some kind of physical high. Five high fives. Yes. Right.
Gretchen
That all that you see like sports, I guess that’s a lot of that.
Elizabeth
The rewards taker. Explain this scratch because this can be tricky.
Gretchen
Okay. So I talked about this in better than before. And so you’ve got to distinguish there’s the rewards taker and the treats taker. And so let’s distinguish between those. So a reward is something that you get because you’ve earned it or because you deserve it and a treat you get just because you want it. And so we should all give ourselves plenty of healthy treats whenever you feel like we need a little boost just to help us keep energized.
Gretchen
So the treats you don’t earn a reward taker is somebody who gets a reward for having done something. So I did this X, y, z thing well. And so to give myself that recognition or to give somebody else that recognition, I’m going to give them a reward. Rewards, though, are just tricky because they sometimes can interfere with why we’re doing something, how well we’re doing something.
Gretchen
There’s a famous study that gave rewards to children who read a certain number of books, and what they saw is that the children would read very easy books in order to get the reward. So in a way, it interfered with them really reading books that would challenge them and probably that they would enjoy more. So sometimes rewards can.
Gretchen
This is probably true of all of these things, though under certain circumstances they can mess with us. So that’s another thing to know about yourself as well, is that I feel that way sometimes. Like my desire for praise isn’t always very constructive.
Elizabeth
I’m saying, yes, and me, too much of anything can be bad.
Gretchen
Yeah, I will say that in a happier AB because there are people who do love getting a badge. We’re adding badges in the tool kit for monthly badges. There’s special badges like if you do right 24 and 24, there are eight badges. If you reach milestones, which I think is sort of a, they’re kind of a combination of certificate collector and trophy hunters.
Gretchen
So that’s an the happier app. If that’s your style, you might find those very fun to get so great.
Elizabeth
You’d love to hear from people what kind of gold stars works for them? How do they go about getting it? Do they give it to themselves or get it from other years?
Gretchen
Do you have better names? We just came up with These names is like shorthand for the types, but maybe people have clever characterizations. That would be fun.
Elizabeth
All right, Gretch, now we have a listener quest station, and this comes from Amanda. She says, Gretchen, is there a reason you use the term aims instead of goals? Perhaps it’s because I’m a questioner, but I get tripped up every single time you use one term instead of the other. For me, I think the term goal is a familiar and expected word by which I know what it’s asking of me.
Elizabeth
It feels attainable and achievable. It has a desired end state to reach. I even like the sound of it better, whereas AIM is more ambiguous and makes me anxious because it feels like something I will never actually achieve and the aim will just keep evolving. It feels less official and less motivating if it’s inherently designed to be a direction to which I am headed and not a desired end state.
Elizabeth
And Gretch, I know that you have very strong feelings about this.
Gretchen
I am so happy to see you made this question because she put her finger on exactly why I use those words for exactly that reason. Because I do feel like an aim is something that you never reach. It’s something that you’re going to work on and work on and work on. And a goal is something that you could reach.
Gretchen
But often when we’re talking about the big things in our lives, they are aims. It’s not something that we can just do and cross out. So a way to think about it is that we can often support our aims with goals because a goal is something that you can do. So Elizabeth, for instance, your aim is to exercise regularly indefinitely, right?
Gretchen
Yeah. I mean, you’re not that’s not something you can finish. You can’t be done with that, right? But you set yourself the goal of Raymond 100 or Orange theory 50. That is a goal that you can reach. But here’s the problem with a goal, and this is why I use AIM, is if you focus on the goal in my observation, if you’re not focused on the larger aim, you’re focused on the goal.
Gretchen
A lot of times you will achieve that goal and then you will stop altogether. Because often when people reach a goal, they’re like, This is the finish line. And now that I am finished, I have to start over. And what I’ve also observed, and this is all in better than before under the strategy of first steps, is that it’s hard to take the first step and it’s even harder to start over.
Gretchen
So sometimes just kind of the novelty of starting for the first time makes it kind of fun and easier. But if you have to start over, often people find it very hard to start over. It’s like maybe it’s kind of don’t break the chain like I’m now I’m going back to zero. And so reaching a finish line can get in people’s way.
Gretchen
So I think it’s better to think of a milestone in the aim of exercising regularly indefinitely. You have reached the goal of the freshman 100, but that is just one of many milestones that you will pass. That’s one goal of many, many goals that you will have in a lifetime of movement.
Elizabeth
Yes, Well, and I know this can be a problem with challenges like a 30 day yoga challenge. Then you do yoga for 30 days and then you never do yoga again.
Gretchen
Yes.
Elizabeth
Or dry January. You don’t drink all January and then you just totally drink all willy nilly.
Gretchen
Yes. I mean, because sometimes I think people assume like, it will automatically change my habits. I mean, you can use these things to give you a helpful start. There’s ways to do it. But like we’re doing right 24 and 24, right? So the goal is to participate in, right? 24 and 24. And so you do it 2 to 4 minutes or 24 minutes a day and that’s what you’re doing.
Gretchen
But the aim that it’s building toward is to write consistently indefinitely. And I think once the year is over and we should actually we should have worked on this with all the other challenges, which is how do you keep this going? If you love to read 21 and 21, how are you making sure that you keep up with it now that the year has gone like National Novel Writing Month, it’s like, okay, you wrote a novel in a month, but really you probably want to keep writing in an ongoing way.
Gretchen
And so and I mean, I think Amanda sees that is kind of discouraging and it is bigger because it’s not something that can just get done. And this is why I think the 24 and 24 lists often are good. Like Alison’s, you and I often have something like Find the perfect Cross-body bag. That is a goal that can be achieved and then you’re done.
Gretchen
You don’t have. That’s right. That’s not an aim. That’s just something that you want to do. But then there’s other things, even something that’s hard like right? A will it can be done and then that goal will be achieved. Yes, but.
Elizabeth
Flossing every night is an aim because you’re never going to be done.
Gretchen
Right? Exactly. So anyway, I was thrilled to see that Amanda had picked up on this distinction because I often was like, Is anyone even noticing this? But right. At least one person did. Thank you very much.
Elizabeth
All right. Well, coming up, I have a habit to marriage. But first, this break.
[music]
Gretchen
Okay it’s time for demerits and gold stars because we always talk about a gold star we always also talk about a merit analyst. This is your week to talk about a demerit.
Elizabeth
Yes so Gretchen speaking of aims and goals and all of that, i set a new year’s resolution to do with the whole family posture exercises five nights a week. Okay. And I’ve just gotten off to a terrible start to the year on our posture exercises. Started doing them immediately fell off. Now, granted, I’ve been sick. You’ve been.
Gretchen
Very low. You’ve been skating me off?
Elizabeth
Yes, yes. But I could have gotten Jack and Adam to do them. I could have said, Why don’t you guys do your posture exercises now? Because they are on board with this. We all want to have better.
Gretchen
Unlike, like my family, where they they never really accepted it.
Elizabeth
We all really need it. So I’m just this is one of those things where I’m hoping that stating it as a demerit will help me get back on track.
Gretchen
Okay, good.
Elizabeth
Yeah. How about you guys? What is your gold star I.
Gretchen
Want to give a gold to. I was walking down the street on a Wednesday morning. That is trash day in New York City, and I was thinking, gosh, I appreciate trash collection. I so appreciate trash collectors. I’m very fascinated by watching them work. They’ve moved so smoothly and so quickly. And like New York City just seems so overwhelming.
Gretchen
I’m like, how does this even happen? I like watching the stuff get squished in. I don’t know. It just like if you live in a big city, it lost it. You and I both live in like big, big cities. It’s like they are this essential. They truly, truly are essential to everyone’s health and well-being. And I think it’s one of those things that’s easy to take for granted.
Gretchen
And yet they play this crucial role and do their work so well. Yes. You know, sometimes it’s the people who are the most reliable who get taken for granted. And I just reminded myself, boy, I don’t want to take my trash collectors for granted.
Elizabeth
Life would be very different if that was not running smoothly.
Gretchen
Yes, Gold Star and the resource for this week, take my new quiz, The Habits for Happiness Quiz. You can take it at Gretchen Rubin dot com slash quiz. And this quiz is designed because people often say to me, you know, I want to make my life happier, but tell me where to start? What’s the best new habit that’s going to help me become happier and that answer is different for everyone.
Gretchen
So I created this quiz so that people will get a personalized answer. So this isn’t just a general answer. This is customized to you. There’s a Gretchen Rubin dot com slash quiz. Let me know what you get. I am fascinated by seeing the results come in. Like tens of thousands of people have taken the quiz. Now trends are starting to emerge, but I love hearing from people about what answer they got and their reflections and how they’re planning to put those into the world.
Gretchen
So let me know. And Elizabeth, what are we reading? What are you reading?
Elizabeth
I am reading Everything/Nothing/Someone: A memoir by Alice Carriere. How about you?
Gretchen
I am reading Gold Diggers by Sanjena Sathian. And that’s it for this episode of Happier. Remember to try this at home. Be polite. Let us know if you tried it and if it worked for you.
Elizabeth
Thank you to our executive producer Chuck Reed and everyone at Cadence 13 Get in touch Questions on Instagram and Tik Tok and threads at Gretchen Rubin and I’m on Instagram and threads at Liz Craft. Our email address is podcast at Gretchen Rubin dot com.
Gretchen
And if you like this show, please be sure to tell a friend rate us, review us, follow the podcast and most of all do recommend us to a friend. That is how most people discover the show.
Elizabeth
Until next week. I’m Elizabeth Craft.
Gretchen
And I’m Gretchen Rubin. Thanks for joining us. Onward and upward.
Gretchen
So, Elizabeth, the memoir you’re reading is written by the A, by someone who was the daughter of Jennifer Bartlett, the artist. Yeah. So I feel a connection, too, to the work of Jennifer Bartlett, because, you know, my my visual theme for 2024 is koi fish, because koi represents the idea of revisited to me. And Jennifer Bartlett painted a very big painting that included a beautiful painting of koi fish called Ere 24 hours, 5 p.m..
Gretchen
And, and so, yeah, so there’s there’s a there is a distant but real tie between koi fish and the memoir you’re reading.
Elizabeth
All right, I’m going to look it up.
[music]
Gretchen
From the onward project.